The First Hours
by thevigilante15
Summary: tag AHBL2 AU What happened between Dean and Bobby the hours after Sam's death? What if Dean didn't make the deal? Hurt!Dean comfort!Bobbyrewritten from original
1. Chapter 1

**The First Hours**

_**I decided to rewrite this story . a lot of it is the same and some ifs different. It is AU where Dean doesn't' sell his soul. Love to know your thoughts. Reviews get a balloon color of your choice**_

_**Dean's POV**_

_He was dead. Sammy was gone. I knew that in my heart…God I knew it…but I couldn't believe it. I failed…I fucking failed…_

_**Bobby's POV**_

_I saw him fall as I took off after the kid that stabbed him. I know he was dead before he hit the ground. It made me run harder and faster. Now, I see the_ one he left behind. _How can one half survive without the other?_

The road back to the cabin was a long one. Dean's hands gripped the wheel tightly, every so often glancing back to check on Sam.

"He OK back there Bobby?"

Bobby stifled a sob afraid to meet the young man's eyes. _I keep my eyes cast downward to hide my tears at Dean's denial, my shame for not being faster and getting that son of a bitch….damn old man…_

With a quick glance fearing to look at the dead, Bobby replied. "He's fine, Dean." He would repeat it every few minutes all the while thinking. _It seemed to calm him, but what was my reassurance doing to his mind?_

Bobby let out the breath he had been holding for Dean and kept one eye on the fallen man in the back seat. Sam's deathly pallor was frightening to look at but even more so was Dean's reaction to his brother's demise. Bobby understood shock and this was getting deeper and deeper by the moment.

Bobby turned to face the young hunter with a worried frown. Dean felt his eyes on him and struggled to maintain his composure. His hands continued to grip the wheel, sweat pouring over it making it slippery. His throat felt dry and his heart empty. Dean rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand, before wiping his sweaty palm on his jeans. _God help me_. _He'll be OK…He's Sammy…He will be fine…Bobby can patch him up. Bobby will patch him up…._

Dean's eyes met Bobby's in a fevered plea. _Please…Bobby….please…_

It took all of Bobby's efforts not to break down then and there.

When their destination could finally be seen, Dean turned into the gravel road and parked. His eyes burned and his legs felt weak as he exited the car to grab Sammy from the back, speaking to him the whole time in a calm tone.

"It's gonna be OK, man. Just a scratch. Bobby'll take care of you, right Bobby?"

Bobby's gaze revealed nothing_. He believes what he is saying…_

"Sure," he shrugged. _I continue to bury the truth. _

Bobby turned to Dean hating himself for the words he was about to say. . Dean's green eyes lit for a moment. _The boy's_ _eyes met mine. He trusts me. He needs me to save him…to save his brother…_

"Dean…I'm…"

Dean's eyes narrowed at the insinuation as he carried Sam into the room and gently laid him on the bed. He ran his hand over his brother's forehead brushing the hair out of his eyes.

"Sammy…"

_My heart is breaking. I think I died with you….died….no…not yet…._

"Bobby, where's your first aid kit?"

Bobby's eyes looked directly into Dean's this time not masking the pain nor hiding the tears they held. _He needs to see the truth. He is blinded with grief… dying in his own mind…_

"I'm sorry, Dean."

Dean's features fell as his fists clenched tightly. _No, don't do this to me Bobby please…I need you now….God help me…_

"Fine! I'll do it myself." Bobby watched the young man tear apart the room as it tore his heart apart. Tattered sheets and bottles left half filled in this new hell lay strewed about the wooden floors. Dean continued to scour the floor among the broken glass and splinters for refuge and something in which to help Sam…his Sam. He didn't even notice the blood falling thickly down his arms or staining his worn jeans. All he knew was that he had to find it …something…anything…to show that there was still hope. Dean inwardly damned Bobby for his indifferent attitude to Sam's condition. The more the wound festered the less Dean could handle it on his own. He was about to break.

Just when he was about to pound his fists to the heavens in hate and abandonment, he found what he needed. He attempted a smile but knew there was no time for joy yet. He needed to save Sam. _The window was closing…_

Dean glared at Bobby. _He does nothing. He has given up._

Bobby took the glares, the curses and the hate and bottled it up. He would gladly be Dean's punching bag if he needed him to be. He was old. He had seen too much…too damn much. This boy had seen far worse. One loss to him meant everything.

Dean sat on the bed and carefully moved Sam to a sitting position. My God, he's s_o cold…._

"I'll be real gentle, bro. Real gentle…" his voice dropped to a whisper. _I promise._

Dean lifted up Sam's shirt and he caught his breath. _Too much blood_. _What the hell…._

For a moment he froze. One hand buried in Sam's wound and the other holding a needle and thread. Dean's eyes twitched as he blinked back tears.

"No."

Bobby could barely hear him. _I am about to lose both of them. _

Dean laid Sam back down and slid a few feet on the bed falling to the floor. His whole body trembled as he ran a hand over his face. Bobby had never seen Dean this distraught in a long time. _First with his mom and then his father, but even this…this was far worse_…

Bobby kept his gaze intent on Dean_. He knows….God I wish he didn't. _

Dean's features twitched ever so subtlety, allowing Bobby to see the wall shattering. Bobby crouched down and laid a gentle hand on the man's trembling shoulder struggling to relax. Dean took no interest in the older man. It was as if Dean didn't' feel Bobby, didn't sense him at all. Bobby gripped tighter onto his shoulder. _Maybe he doesn't realize I am here. _

After some time, Dean slid his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. Bobby shook in rhythm with Dean's movements. _God I wish I could take his pain away. Do_ _anything…_ Suddenly, Dean's green eyes met Bobby's glistening with unshed tears and burning questions. _What am I suppose to do?_

Bobby had no answer to the young man's thoughts. _There are no answers._

Dean's breathing hitched and his face grew pale.

"I think I'm gonna be sick." Tumbled out of his mouth in a whisper as he darted toward the bathroom. Bobby's heart sank as he heard the retching from the thin doors separating him from the world of the living and the world of the dead. Bobby sighed as he sat down on the opposite bed to Sam. _What am __**I **__supposed to do? _

Dean continued to dry heave while clutching the toilet and losing himself between sobs. _Damn you Winchester for being weak. You screwed up. I am ashamed of you_. _It should have been_ _you_. Whose words they were Dean was no longer sure, but they had become his mantra. The one he lived by and the way he feared to tread.

The retching finally stopped abruptly leaving Bobby to hear only what was left of ragged breathing and quiet words meant for Dean's ears only.

"It should have been me."

Before Bobby could move to protest, the sharp sound of shattering glass echoed throughout the room. Bobby dashed to the door banging on it repeatedly.

"Dean!" He shouted. No answer.

Bobby forcibly opened the door only to see Dean running his hand over a fresh set of bleeding knuckles.

Every inch of the boy was covered in blood now from his brother's to his own oozing its way onto the floor beneath in a puddle. A silent gulp and shuffling feet brought Bobby inches closer to the man on his knees.

"Dean?" Bobby knew he _sound_ frantic….passive…terrified…

"Go away Bobby." Dean's words were empty, trained and practiced. He didn't want to be alone but couldn't be around anyone. He was about to shatter like the glass at his feet.

"No" Bobby shook his head. _No matter what the consequence I'm not leaving you to your death__ by your hand or another's_

Dean's red rimmed eyes were lifeless as he met Bobby's eyes. Tears fell from the older man's eyes. Both looked at each other finally accepting the worst.

Dean's head fell trying to hide between his bloody hands.

"Here, let me help you with that." Bobby knelt down doing his best to avoid the broken glass all around him_. Broken…nothing in this room is whole… _

Dean flinched pulling his hand away from the contact with a quick shake of his headDean's mind was filled with reasons_. I deserve this don't you see, Bobby? He was my purpose. I am nothing._

Bobby seemed to understand and stood up moving away from the young hunter. He didn't' agree with Dean's line of thought but knew he couldn't stop him now.

"You have ten minutes and then I do what I have to do."

Dean hadn't the strength to argue as Bobby walked away and lay down for a moment in the bed across from the lifeless body of Sam Winchester. _Only one remains…but for how long? _

Bobby didn't know how long he had been out but it was longer than 10 minutes.

Bobby inwardly cursed himself and his fatigue as he eagerly sat up to go search for Dean. As his feet swung over the edge of the bed he found himself nudging something or someone soft. He focused his eyes to see a shivering Dean Winchester in a fetal position doing anything possible to be close to his brother's deceased form. Bobby slipped off the bed and walked around to view the boy's condition. His knuckles were still pretty bad. His jeans were stained with blood and his face sunken in. Bobby sighed and went to clean him up.

Bobby did his best to be gentle as well as not wake the young man up. Dean stirred in his sleep muttering Sammy's name and the words why over and over again. After he was done, Bobby pulled Dean to a sitting position in an effort to move him to the bed. Dean groggily opened his eyes.

"Dad?"

Bobby was thrown. He swallowed hard complying with the boy's request.

"Yeah, Dean, it's me." Bobby thought thinking that John was there might help. _How wrong I was…_

Dean's face relaxed for a fraction before his words tumbled out. "Sammy's hurt, Dad. I tried to protect him…but I…I screwed up…" Bobby flinched. _He sounds so young._

"It's not your fault, Dean. There was nothing you could do."

Dean seemed to find little comfort in his "father's" words.

"I'm so sorry, Dad….do you hate me?"

Bobby frowned. Maybe Dean didn't understand his words.

"No, Dean. I said it wasn't your fault."

At the word fault Dean instinctively raised his arm over his head to block an imagined forthcoming blow.

"Please, Dad, I'm sorry…please, don't….I'm sorry…"

_He keeps saying it over and over again_. Bobby bites back his anger at Dean's reaction which confirmed his long time suspicions about the boy's father and Dean. _John you bastard… they were your boys not your soldiers…._Bobby wished he could have been there to protect the boys from their upbringing but it was no use trying to go back. Fate dealt them an awful hand the hand was only going to get worse.

"No, it's OK." Bobby lightly touched Dean's arms trying to push them back down. Dean resisted at first fearing the "hits" would become unbearable but fearing the words that seemed to echo in his dream even worse. Bobby decided that his words were meaningless to Dean who was trapped somewhere in the past. _If I move him and let him sleep maybe …maybe_…

When Dean began to ease up fighting Bobby, was he then moved with effort mostly on Bobby's part to the bed. Bobby wiped his brow and looked at the man before him. _One who looked for_ _love any love in the wrong places be it a woman or a bottle_ _and the other_ Bobby turned to Sam, found_ it and watched it torn from his grasp. _

Bobby sighed as he sat at the wooden table near the window. His age catching up to him. _Too much responsibility for me now. Not suppose to be this way. . _

The sun would be up soon, hopefully, desperately hoping for a better day.

**If you think I should leave it this way or add an AU if Dean didn't sell his soul, let me know. I'd love to hear your thoughts! Thanks for reading!!! Hope you like the rewrite for anyone reading a second time!**

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	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. Some parts of the story are paraphrased from AHBL2 All italics are the characters;' thoughts.**

**Thank you to my anonymous reviewer as well whom I can't respond to. You are great! Please keep up the reviews. Love them all!!**

* * *

Bobby sat at the table all night long. When the sun began to rise, a small sigh escaped his lips. He needed a distraction from Dean and Sam. _I need a distraction from the memories._

It had been a long night and that was an understatement. Bobby had kept his silent vigil at the table keeping his gaze focused on the look out for demons and aching for the sun to rise. Dean had tossed and turned most of the night, Bobby's heart breaking all the while. He watched the young man cry out for his brother. Dean sat up half awake off and on staring vaguely off. Bobby wondered if he was sitting vigil too perhaps looking over a younger Sam waiting for Daddy to return. How often Dean did that, Bobby wondered. _Enough to be replaying it._

Bobby sighed, rubbing a hand over a worn face. His stomach began to rumble. It was the first time he realized they hadn't eaten in a day or so. Bobby turned to Dean. If I'm hungry, Dean must be starving. He tilted his trucker cap and stood up about to go. Realizing Dean might wonder where he went, Bobby searched for a pen and paper. He chuckled at the silly notice. _This place was lucky to have running water._

With a quick check on Dean and a hope that he wouldn't wake before he returned, Bobby left to get food.

* * *

Dean began to stir shortly after Bobby left. His eyes opened glazed and confused. _Where am I?_ He sat up slowly in the bed feeling the remnants of last night's indulgence. _Alcohol can be a real bitch._

The room he was in was unfamiliar to him. With a swift sweep over his face he turned to his surroundings until he met Sam's lifeless form. _God, no…please…._

Dean slid out of bed and edged toward Sam's direction.

"No, this was all a dream…" No one answered him. Dean's heart started to pound. It was too quiet. Not again.

"Bobby?"

No answer. Dean began to search the abandoned rooms for any sign of life. He pushed behind every crevice and the conclusion was clear: he was alone.

Dean dropped his head. Who was he kidding? No one stood by him except Sam. His Sammy…lifeless, cold…_I should be used to this by now. Dad was never with me ever since Mom died. Sammy left me to be normal. Now Bobby…I thought Bobby…._

At the thought of the "betrayal", Dean picked up an empty bottle and slammed it against the wall not even flinching as the glass shattered on the floor.

He frantically began to pound one bottle after another into the wall. The sound hurt his ears and made his head pound to the point Dean though it would explode. He finally stopped swinging and crouched down. He was spent. _There was no next move. I am the only one left. _

Just as his breathing grew more ragged, Dean's face quivered as he heard a door begin to open. He was weaponless and inched closer to the door begging it to be an intruder to finish off what he could not. _I am too weak to do what is necessary_. He heard his dad's voice. _Always were. You always had trouble doing what was needed…what needed to be done with Sam if I failed. You couldn't do that for me. Now he's dead without a chance to be saved. No chances left for anyone…_

The door opened as Dean stood facing it staring into the unknown with a bleeding heart.

Bobby stood staring back at the young Winchester and reflections of the boy's youth flooded back to him. Even as a child, Dean always seemed lost to Bobby even when he was in his element. He wanted simplicity of family and home neither which he had completely. The life of a hunter was something thrust upon him. In order to gain Daddy's love, Dean took it wholeheartedly.

Now he stood before the elder man without anyway to defend himself. If Bobby turned out to be a threat, he would be there waiting for death, accepting it.

"Dean? Are you OK?" _Stupid question_.

Dean almost looked disappointed but at the same time relieved and grateful for Bobby's return. Bobby returned the look trying to smile for his sake when he realized why Dean looked as he did. _He thought I had abandoned him just like the rest of the world…_

"I brought back some food."

Dean shrugged. "No thanks, not hungry."

Bobby knew that was an outright lie. As he stepped on broken glass he knew the stability of the hunter was fading fast. Dean just kept looking at Sam. Bobby placed the food on the table as Dean remained at a standstill near his brother's bed. Bobby had heard of tales where Dean would crawl into his little brother's crib for months after the fire just to make sure he was safe. _There is only room for one in this crib now… _

"Why don't you try to eat so…"

"No."

Dean closed his eyes still not facing Bobby_. Don't push the old man away now. He's all you got left. He opened his eyes. No, that thought alone is enough to kill me…._

Bobby sat down and pulled out a piece of chicken attempting to eat.

"We need our strength, Dean. We have a lot of work to do."

Dean turned and walked over to Bobby sitting in the chair across from him and opened a beer. Bobby silently scolded himself for not removing that earlier.

"I can't."

Bobby put his chicken down. "Sam wouldn't want you to give up, Dea…"

"I'm done, Bobby. I'm done." Bobby knew his words held a hidden meaning.

Bobby winced at the admission. "I don't want you to be alone" Dean fought control over the tears threatening to fall when Bobby's words were said. _Maybe he does care…_

"I could use your help."

Dean felt all hope fall with that statement. _My help?_

"You are one of the best hunters around Dean." His face fell. _Only wants me for my body….Why do I pimp myself? _

"You know, maybe you should go."

Bobby stood up. _What did I say? _As his heart began to pound he realized his statement which was meant to keep Dean occupied only made him feel as if he was once again being used.

"Dean..."

"Now, Bobby. Please."

Bobby stood still. His face planted squarely on Dean. Tears in his eyes for the son he lost and the one he was quickly losing.

"Go!"

Dean shoved Bobby so hard he fell to the ground in the shattered glass. Dean's breathing quickened and his features softened. _What have I fucking done?_

"Sorry, I…"

Bobby stood up brushing himself carefully. He wasn't angry, only tired.

"I know."

With gentle closing eyes, Bobby turned to leave.

"I'm here if you need me."

Dean said nothing. _I know Bobby. Thank you for that._

In a heartbeat, Dean was again alone.

* * *

**Please review. I will update as soon as possible. Please keep the reviews coming! Thank you!!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Disclaimer: See previous chapter. Some parts are from AHBL2 dialogue. **

* * *

The first hours had passed. Bobby drove on in silence on a darkened road a part of him eager to crawl into his own bed and sleep off the nightmare from the previous day. The other part urged him to turn around and be with Dean. _He shouldn't be alone now. Damn kid…why did ya have to push me away, Dean? _

Bobby sighed gripping the steering wheel intensely. He needed to focus on getting home now. _Only one more hour to go. I am halfway there…_

* * *

Dean stood leaning against the splintered beam in the room staring at Sammy. He could feel the wood's edges sticking into his flesh but he didn't care. _What's one more wound….when I am done with what I am about to do it won't matter anyway…none of it matters. _

"Only you do, Sam." _It was always you. _

Dean gripped the bottle in his hand tighter until he feared it might shatter. He took one…no two steps toward his baby brother.

"I'm gonna make this right. I promise." He closed his eyes allowing the tears to fall. He pulled up a chair and sat staring at his only family. _I am the last one._

If only things had been different.

_1987_

_It had been a long day. Dean had the worst test imaginable for a nine year old boy: a math test. He groaned inwardly at the thought that he would be lucky enough to have passed it. He had tried so hard, but the numbers became jumbled and after a while all he could focus on was practicing with Dad later. There were few times Dean and his father got to spend any time together, but hunting was the one sure way. He knew he would get Dad's undivided attention. Maybe it was the only way, the boy thought. His reverie was interrupted when he felt a small tug on his hand. _

"_Are we almost home?"_

_Dean snorted at Sammy's loose term of the word "home". The latest and greatest of crappy motels could barely be considered a cardboard box, but for the past two weeks it was "home". _

_Dean nodded in response to Sam's question. _

"_Will Dad be coming back tonight?"_

_Dean smiled at the thought. _

"_Yeah, finally. He called this morning remember? He said he finally got the son of a bitch …"_

_Sam's eyes widened in horror at Dean's loose tongue._

"_Dean!"_

_Dean felt the heat rise into his cheeks. "Sorry." He muttered._

_Sam remained quiet for a moment as Dean took out the motel key to unlock the door. _

"_I'll miss it being just you taking care of me."_

_Dean faltered for a moment, bending down to grab the tarnished metal that had fallen at his feet._

"_What do you mean, Sammy? I'll still be here."_

_Sam nodded as he walked through the opened door swinging his book bag onto the floor._

"_I know, but you are here to take care of me more than Dad is. You're like…, "he paused searching for the perfect word, "my mom." _

_That was the first time; Dean had ever heard his guidance of Sam being called that and found that he was at a loss._

"_Why don't we have a mom, Dean?"_

_Here it comes…_

"_I told you, Sam. Mom died in a car crash end of story."_

_Sammy's eyes widened in sadness as he sat on the bed not easily distracted by Dean turning on the television._

"_What kind of car was she driving?"_

"_I don't know."_

"_Did someone hit her or did she drive off a cliff…"_

"_Enough Sam." Dean's harsh tone rang out and silenced the boy into tears._

_Dean, young as he was, felt his heart breaking._

"_Come on, Sammy. Don't cry. "_

_The words of comfort only seemed to make Sam cry harder as he clutched Dean's shirt. _

"_Why doesn't anyone like to talk about Mom? Didn't you love her?"_

_Dean's eyes welled with unshed tears. _

"_Yeah, "he croaked out."We loved her very much."_

"_Then why don't you talk about her?"_

_Dean found that he could no longer answer Sammy's questions and reached over embracing the younger boy tightly, praying for John's quick return while whispering, "You don't want to know." _

Dean broke out of the past when he heard the howl of the wind outside of the cabin. Sammy always asking questions. Dean looked down at his brother and this time let the tears fall freely. What difference did it make? No one was here. He kicked out the last person in his life who meant anything to him. Time to do what he knew he had to. He prayed silently that if this worked Sam wouldn't' ask. _Trust me, Sam. You don't want to know._

* * *

Dean opened his car door for once in his life not caring if the paint scratched along the gravel road beneath. He hit the car in reverse and spun the wheels leaving a trail of dirt behind him. His eyes were focused on one goal and one goal only: find a crossroads no matter how long it took. His chest tightened_. One decision down_. _I am halfway there_…

* * *

The longer Bobby drove, the more uneasy he became. Something is not right, beyond the ordinary that is. Within seconds, he knew what he should do. He slammed on the breaks spinning the wheel of the truck. _Hold on, Dean_….

* * *

Dean felt as if he had been driving for hours. _Maybe this is a mistake_… He knew the longer he had to think about it, the greater his chance of changing his mind. Out of no one in answer to his thoughts, a crossroads loomed ahead trapped in his headlights. It was always so dark and foreboding no matter what town. Dean stopped the car, his heart pounding loudly enough for all of hell to hear. He closed his eyes breathing deeply for a moment_. Here_ _it goes…_His boots felt heavy as he stepped onto the road and began to go through the motions of summoning the demon. _This isn't real….none of it is…_

Dean waited. _The bitch would come in due time. They all did._ Sure enough, he felt the heat of her breath on his neck before he turned around. She was beautiful, long luscious locks of black, with eyes as red as blood.

"Well, well, look what the hell hound dragged in. Still, considering everything, you still look so yummy." She playfully licked her lips as her hands ran over his crotch.

Dean kept his green eyes on her face trying to suppress the rage.

_I will do whatever it takes…_

"You know why I'm here. My soul for his. Bring Sammy back. I'll do whatever you want"

The demon's eyes flickered in ecstasy. _What a dream come true._

* * *

Nearly forty five minutes had passed for Bobby aching to reach Dean in time. He could feel the sweat breaking out on his neck as his skin prickled to its touch_. Something bad is about to go down. I can feel it…_ He gripped the wheel, his head suddenly starting to throb. _My old_ heart can't take this shit anymore with these boys….the thought of Sam lying motionless crossed his mind. _Boy…only one left… _

It seemed faster driving back than driving home. Bobby prayed he was right. _The roads were so dark how could anyone see where they were going at all? Like that car for_ _instance why is it on the_ …Bobby slammed on the brakes for the second time that night. He backed up and estimated the situation. _Crossroads….Dean's car… God, no…_

* * *

Dean stood facing his destiny. She had no name. Didn't need one. She would be gone by the time he got there and another faceless stream of torturers would take her place. Fate meant nothing. Nothing good anyway. This was his decision alone…_**alone**_….there is no turning back…

"Are you ready", her words felt like daggers to his open wounds. He nodded leaning in to her kiss.

"Dean!"

The momentary shock of hearing someone call his name threw Dean off balance. He staggered a step back from the demon as her razor sharp nails dug into his jacket drawing him closer.

"Dean…let's seal the deal…" she seethed.

"You take one step closer to him and I'll blow your brains out bitch."

The demon let go of her prize and gave Bobby a smug look.

"Well, well, Mr. Singer. Didn't expect to see you here. Matter of fact didn't expect anyone to be here for poor Dean. He always seems to end up working alone somehow." She cupped her hand around her mouth pretending to speak in a whisper.

"Abandonment issues and all."

Bobby ignored her and cocked his gun of rock salt higher.

"Bobby, get the hell out of here. This isn't your concern."

"Damn right, it is."

Dean looked to his friend, not quite sure what to make of this new situation. He was as pissed as hell at being given a chance to think about this, but his heart was also grateful. _You came back for me. _

Bobby met Dean's eyes and gave a nod. _You bet your ass I did._

"Come on Dean, time is a wastin'. You're gonna to need some air freshener by the time you get back."

Dean winced.

He leaned in again barely grazing her lips.

"Sam wouldn't want you to do this Dean." Bobby paused. "You're not alone, son."

At Bobby's words, Dean scrunched up his features in pain and rapidly tried to keep his emotions in check.

The demon scoffed. "God, Dean, don't go all weepy on me, please. You were never anyone's son were you? I mean John never gave two shits for you. In fact he sacrificed himself rather going to hell then having to possibly kill beloved Sam. No, he left that decision up to you. Guess you didn't have to think too much about it anyway considering Jake did it all for you." Dean straightened his stature and stared at her squarely in the eyes.

At his wounded expression, she knew she didn't have much time left. "Just lean in and give us a little kiss. It'll all be better. I promise."

Dean froze. _I promise, bro, it'll all be better. Would this make it better? What if Sam ever found out about his deal? Could he ever forgive him?_

"Now, Dean." Dean snapped his mind back into reality.

"No." It came out as a whisper.

The demon gave a mocking laugh.

"What did you say?"

Dean took a step back from her eyes cast down. "I said no."

The demon's features flickered in anger.

"How dare you call me and then change your mind. "

Her eyes turned to Bobby. "Thanks to you Singer I won't be getting lucky tonight." She smiled in Dean's direction and in reference to Sam responded to him. "But neither will you".

She stared Dean down eyes burning into him. "Don't ever call me again."

Dean refused to move. The demon vanished in black smoke. Bobby's heart hammered in his chest. _God, how close did Dean come to? No, I won't think about it. _

He lowered the gun and moved toward the still figure in shadows.

Dean's shoulders sagged. Bobby couldn't see his face.

"Dean?"

He gently touched the young man's arm to turn and face him.

"It's over isn't it Bobby? He's not coming back, is he?"

Bobby blinked away his own pain. "No, no he's not, son."

Dean's eyes widened and began to search wildly for anyone or anything to keep his focus on besides Bobby's soft ones. There was no one else. There never would be. Sam was gone for good. Dean finally broke down racked with grief. He shielded his face with his hands terrified for Bobby to see him like that. _Man up, Dean. Doesn't be such a pussy…Dad would say… Maybe Dad would understand. Its Sammy Dad…he's dead and it's all my fault…_

Dean didn't realize he was hugging the older hunter until he felt someone rub his back and a gruff voice say "It'll be OK." _No promises_. Dean closed his wet eyes. _No promises to keep._

* * *

The burning of Sam's corpse was still a blur for Dean. He remembered clutching Sam's bracelet in his hands unconsciously moving it around between his fingers. He recalled briefly Bobby's words of comfort. He remembered being silent.

The day had been long and the night was about to be longer. Bobby insisted that they leave Cold Oak and stay at a hotel. Dean agreed with his silence. The two arrived at a cheap motel and took the last room they had to offer. Sleep took forever to join them but once it did, Bobby was out like a light. Dean sighed wishing he could find solace in the dark. _Never again_. He closed his eyes begging for relief from his grief when a faint, yet familiar voice burn close to his ear.

Dean's eyes shut open as he bolted up in bed.

"Sam? Sam that you?!?"

* * *

**Please review. I haven't been getting many and I really want to know what you think. Thanks for reading!!**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: See previous chapters. Parts of the story are taken from AHBL2**

* * *

Bobby was brought out of a sound sleep by the cold hands of someone shaking him.

"Bobby, hey wake up…"

Bobby hesitantly opened his eyes glancing around a room not quite in focus.

"Dean…what the hell boy…it's…what time is it?"

"Sam's voice…I heard it… he's"

Bobby's eyes shot open.

"You heard Sam? Dean…he's …"

"Dead, yeah I know…but he spoke to me."

Bobby rubbed his face. _Poor kid._

"You think he's a spirit or something?"

Dean shrugged grinning wildly. Bobby felt the rise of bile in his throat. _Dean is heading down a dark, dark, path. Whether Sam is real or not…._

"Come on, Bobby. Let's go."

Bobby found himself being dragged to his feet and his cap shoved into his hands.

"Where to?"

Dean smiled. "You're going home."

Dean couldn't help but feel so many emotions at once as he worked in the Salvage Yard. His heart was aching with grief, but still he felt hope breaking through. _Maybe Sam is OK…maybe…_

Then the doubt struck. _Maybe Sammy is not good. Maybe…no Sammy wouldn't end up in hell…would he? _

Dean began to torture himself endlessly with the what ifs when Bobby drew his head out of the car book he was reading and noticed Dean staring absentmindedly in the distance.

"Are you Ok, Dean? "Bobby began to look toward the sky, gulping slightly.

"Do you hear Sam again?"

Dean broke out of his reverie.

"What? No, I …" It's_ foolish to bother Bobby with this. He'll think …well he already probably thinks I'm crazy. _

"Nothing…"

"Don't lie to me, boy. I invented it."

Dean grinned weakly twirling the wrench in his hand.

"Do you think Sam is….do you think he's OK where he is?"

Bobby sighed closely his book softly.

"I had this friend once. He was like a brother to me. Great guy, hero type you know? Well one day he and I went on a hunting trip…and not the kind you're thinking. Hell, I didn't even know that stuff existed yet." Bobby paused caught in the memories.

_Maybe I shouldn't tell him this….so personal._

Bobby's eyes found Dean's who were hanging on his every word_. He needs it more than me. _

"Anyways, we were ready to call it a night when I heard the most terrifying howl. I have never heard anything like it since. Within moments of leaving my tent, I only saw its eyes…red…pure evil they were….staring off…." Bobby began to stare off too lost in the moment.

"They looked right at me as it dragged him away. "He stopped his story and turned back to his book.

"That was the last anyone saw of him."

Dean's interest was peaked as he leaned into the car Bobby was standing at.

"Did you catch what did it to him?" Bobby bit his lower lip.

"Nope."

Dean straightened up. "What was it?"

"Don't know."

Dean didn't seem pleased with the answer.

"Why not? I mean if this is what made you into a hunter then why didn't …."

Bobby sighed again sounding so very tired.

"It was and I searched but I knew when to stop and accept that I couldn't change it. I couldn't find what killed my friend and I couldn't know what happened to him. I came to terms with it. I had to believe that he was in a better place or the obsession would kill me." Bobby stared intently into Dean trying to make sure his words sunk in. _Dean, let it go. Don't be like yer Daddy. Trust in Sam._

"Yeah well I don't' think I could." Dean backed away from Bobby when he noticed his sad expression_. Wrong answer I guess._

"I know Bobby that you aren't happy with that decision…"

Bobby held up his hand. 'Whoa…You shouldn't give a flying fuck what I think. You don't need to please me." His fingers pressed firmly but gently into Dean's chest. "You need to please yourself."

Dean was at a loss for words fearing his emotions would overwhelm him. _Myself? No one ever asked me to….told me to…_

Bobby saw the effect his words were having. "Just think about it OK?" He squeezed the young man's shoulder. Dean relaxed into his grasp. Both men were about to turn back to work when they heard movement within the yard.

Both turned about to attack their guest when they came face to face with Ellen.

"Ellen?" Dean chocked on his words. He reached out to embrace her. _Ellen…is alive…maybe hope isn't lost…._

_

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I hope you all like. Sorry I haven't; been updating often. With the holidays and everything…well enough excuses. Hope you enjoy and have a happy holiday! Please review! It is the best Christmas present!!!_


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. This chapter is based on the last scene in AHBL2. I hope you like and thanks for the reviews!**

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It seemed like days when it had been merely hours since Dean' heard Bobby's tale with words meant to be taken to heart. Now they had found their way to the cemetery where it was believed a devil's trap larger than any other existed and was about to destroyed as well as the fact that they would possibly be coming face to face with Sam's killer. Dean's heart pounded in his ears. This is strange. He kept expecting to see Sam at his side but instead long flowing hair on one and a baseball cap on the other met his view. _So different so new…_

It didn't take long to find the tomb. The hairs stood on the end of Dean's neck. Evil was all around_. Damn it…_

Dean stopped breathing for a moment. _There he was. The son of a bitch who killed him. Sammy's killer…. What do I do?_

The tension stifled the air around the three hunters. The young man turned around and smiled slyly.

"Well, well, looks like I have company. Let me introduce myself. My name is Jake and you are? "

Dean cocked his gun slightly higher.

"I'm about to be your killer you son of a bitch…"

"Ah, ah, watch your mouth boy, we have a lady present."

Jake's grin made Ellen's skin crawl.

He turned his attention back to Dean.

"I guess you must have been a friend of that poor bastard huh?"

Dean chocked on the words that followed.

"Brother…, " he chocked on his words inwardly chastising himself, "he was my brother. I'm gonna kill you …"

Jake waved a finger.

"Violence never solved anything... I've got some work to do and to make sure you all stay where you are…hey lady why don't you help me keep these folks in line. Put the gun to your head."

Ellen began to move the gun to her temple against her will. Bobby and Dean exchanged glances at this turn of events. They watched helplessly as Jake placed the colt inside the door.

Dean winced as the realization struck. _It's a key… _

His eyes never left Jake. _Once I get a clear shot…_

Jake seemed to be distracted from his duties to keep an eye on Ellen. Her hand dropped and gun shots went off in the dirt. Dean lunged for Jake not sure which priority was first: closing the gates of hell or avenging his brother.

Jake was knocked to the ground hands above his head pleading with Dean for his life.

"Please, don't…"

"Why shouldn't I?" Dean snarled. "You took away all I had left!"

Jake's features softened at the confession and for a moment he looked human again in Dean's eyes. _Human_…

Dean relaxed his stance for a moment. _I will be a murderer. He's not possessed. He's he's…_

He looked away from Jake into the distance catching Bobby's pleading eyes _Let it go_….

Dean's eyes spoke volumes. _I want to…please help me…_

when his gaze caught something._. Maybe it was a reflection…a spirit. an answer?_

"Sam?" he muttered.

Dean looked to Jake with pity in his eyes. _I will not become like you_... With one swift motion of his wrist, Dean cold cocked him with his gun. Breathing deeply, he allowed his muscles to relax a bit in defeat. _I am weak…_

Dean's guilt was interrupted by the sound of the gears turning. _The gates_….

Dean spun around about to help the others when he caught the stench of sulfur…a familiar sulfur. His eyes scanned the graveyard till he saw that yellow eyed son of a bitch. Without a second thought, Dean grabbed the colt and leaped over the gravestones. It seemed as if he ran for miles before tumbling and preparing to snuff out the life of a man possessed.

"I don't think so."

The demon held up a hand holding Dean to the spot he was in. Boots dug deep into the graveyard dirt. Dean struggled to move but found his muscles were no longer his own.

"You know. I am really disappointed in you, Deano. I mean you act all noble going to bring your brother back, sacrifice yourself yada, yada,yada… then you don't even go through with it. You don't seem to follow through with anything lately do you? Tsk, tsk, tsk… What would your daddy say? Oh wait nothing. Too busy screaming bloody murder in hell for your sorry ass."

The demon's grin was disgusting. Dean shuddered. _Don't listen to him. Focus…_

"I'm gonna kill you…"

"Hmmm. Isn't that what you said over there? Don't believe you. You heard the story of the little boy who cried wolf right?"

Dean's fingers were locked in position but he couldn't find the strength to move his arm up. _That damn demon_ …

"So I just have to ask, what's it like being the last one left, huh? Is it a life full of despair and self pity? No one left to talk to or watch your back…"

Dean sneered about to retort when there was that light again only this time its shape was definite. _Wait, there are two shapes…Dad? Sammy?_

The demon's laughter stopped as he sensed another presence.

He turned around too late as Sam's spirit held the demon back and John's punched him squarely in the jaw. Blood from the human the demon inhabited came out momentarily startling the Yellow Eyed Demon but then he struck back knocking John to the ground. Within the shuffle, Dean felt his muscles loosen as he raised the colt one last time.

"Family always watch each others' backs, you son of a bitch."

Against the blackened sky of lost souls and the stench of sulfur, one bullet flew into the heart of the demon. Sparks of a life and death extinguishing until he tumbled to the ground. Dean found himself breathing again, gingerly standing up.

_I can't believe I did it…I mean we…_

He looked at the two standing before him.

"Sam? Dad?"

The two beings of light smiled.

Dean tried to smile in return, but found himself at a loss. He simply looked from one to the other asking for forgiveness, begging for the chance to move on.

Only Sam spoke.

"You did everything to save me."

Dean was about to interrupt. _No, not everything…_

"Yes, you did."

Dean felt his cheeks grow sticky with wet, hot tears.

"You can let me go now, Dean." Sam turned to face his father. "Let us both go."

With those words the two vanished on a speck of light leaving Dean to drop to his knees, head hanging low, shaking his hands, still not quite sure what just took place . He turned his head toward the sound of approaching footsteps and saw Ellen and Bobby looking down on him. Dean covered his face in his hands and cried, not ashamed and finally free.

_Everything is going to be OK. _

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Please review! Hope you all enjoyed! Thanks!**


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